Bubbles, blunders & billionaires in the making
A midweek brief that covers forged papers, champagne apologies and corporate recipes.
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I wanted today’s edition to be a light one since I had an exhausting start to the week.
The plan was to poke fun at the wealthy and politically connected — the likes of Tony Fernandes, Nazir Razak and Khairy Jamaluddin — protesting a high-rise project in their Bukit Damansara enclave.
But Malaysia being Malaysia, tragicomedy always finds its way into the headlines.
Today’s newsletter tackles the bubbling (pun intended) challenges at Petronas under its president and group CEO Tengku Muhammmad Taufik Aziz.
I also debut The Malaysianist’s Power Laksa — the only recipe you’ll need to survive Malaysia’s thriving crony capitalist jungle. Beats any consulting firm.
I posted this on LinkedIn yesterday, and will do so here to kick off today’s newsletter.
The verdict is out: FIFA uploaded a detailed ruling yesterday, exposing forged birth certificates for seven foreign-born players Malaysia used in their 4-0 win over Vietnam in the AFC Asian Cup 2027 qualifiers.
This effectively deepens the crisis for the Football Association of Malaysia (FAM).
The TLDR is that documents claimed Malaysian heritage through grandparents born in places like Melaka and Kuching, but originals showed births in Spain, Argentina, Brazil, and the Netherlands, prompting a CHF 350,000 fine for FAM and 12-month bans for players involved.
FAM, denying deliberate forgery, received the full judgment docs and is racing to appeal, citing verification by Malaysia’s National Registration Department, but the AFC warns results could be overturned, threatening Malaysia’s Group F lead.
While the pressure is on FAM, I wrote previously that among the major actors who aggressively pursued naturalisation was none other than Johor regent Tunku Ismail Idris (TMJ).
Despite all the rage around his team, Johor Darul Ta’azim, it’s worth noting that most of its revenue is derived from public sources.
The same principle applies to TMJ’s vision for national football: it’s underwritten by taxpayers.
This entire episode deserves a rethink, which in turn, requires stakeholders (I hate the word, but will use anyhow) to answer tough questions — things we as a country are not really good at.
FAM will be working overtime to overturn this and they have been given a deadline. Its officials have no choice, anyway.
There are two points to be made. First, our sovereignty is in question because of the warp-speed manner in which these players obtained citizenship, and the processes that may have been bent or broken simply to expedite them.
Second, what does it say when countless stateless people in Malaysia have had to wait decades for PR or citizenship, simply because they lacked cables or royal backing?
Maybe that’s why we can’t get things right. At a foundational level, we’re screwed — always chasing shortcuts while shortchanging others.
While we deserve to be embarrassed this way, the only way forward is — whether some like it or not — is to put a stop to a subservient culture where the dreams and fancies of the Malaysian elite matters more than common sense.
P.S. While writing this, I was told I have a Greek great-grandmother somewhere in the family. Gonna check that out, stat.
Fizz to friction
I know, it was quite a sight watching Petronas chief Tengku Muhammad Taufik being sprayed with and drenched in champagne over the weekend for indulging in Formula 1 celebrations.
Yes, I’m chuckling while writing this…
Right on cue, he ended up apologising yesterday, saying that although he was drenched in champagne, he did not drink any and regretted the perception his participation created.
But Taufik has bigger issues on his plate: Petronas is grappling with steep challenges under his watch.